Submitted by: Anuj N.
It’s pretty easy to mess up the first dates you have with women if you don’t know what the dating landscape is all about and what NOT to do. So first off, before I even tell you how to execute that first date and what all conversation topics you could use, I’d like to educate you on 2 important MISTAKES TO AVOID – at all costs!
# 1 : The Slo-mo Plan
Here’s how most guys plan their first date – evening meetup followed by dinner and a movie or dinner and drinks. Not a bad plan but definitely not a kickass plan!! It does not inspire any interest or excitement in a woman.
Let me explain. Women want to see one thing in a man they’re new to. It’s the feeling up their spine and in their mind that this man is going to be “FUN”. Why? Because most women are tired of men who aren’t fun but instead a total drain on their emotional energy.
Sadly, a traditional dinner date like that is not doing you any good. At the best, it conveys that you’re a boring guy who can’t come up with anything new and refreshing in the social savvy department. It also makes her feel as if you want the movie to give her positive feelings for you that you’re hoping will rub off on you. MEGA FAIL!!
So instead, take her to a fun place like a go cart race, a game arcade, a short roadside exploration – anything that keeps her curious about what’s coming next and where she’s full of energy and knows you’re a guy who’s out of the ordinary.
# 2 : The Dull Guy Ending
This is another BIG mistake. This is what happens when you go out on a first date with a woman starting with a fairly good energy and positive state of mind. You say the right things, ask the right questions and things flow naturally…but for a bad reason, they don’t go anywhere. I mean there’s no escalation. The Dull Guy Ending is one where the entire date just fizzles off all it’s energy over the course of the time spent.
She’s hoping for a fireworks kinda show from you but all you give is a dull boring “thanks for being here”. No, I’m not saying that you go lighting fuses and blowing bombs in front of her. What you need to give her is passionate excitement and an end to your date she will never forget, in a positive way. No gifts, no cards, no professing of love or any of that pointless stuff.
Instead, here’s what you do:
> Keep that first date short. No longer than about 3 hours (4 at upper maximum). The longer you make it, the lower the energy gets and the more it just drags on like a rag tag.
> Take the lead and stop looking for signs that she’s into you. What’s important is that she’s already with you. She’s already gauging you as a possibility. So it’s perfect that you’re interested in her. And it’s okay if you escalate.
> Escalate sexual energy of the date into something she can get excited about. Take the lead, get her wanting more and then, well you have a choice. If she’s too into you, you can escalate ahead. Or, you could just leave her wanting more at that high point and continue the next contact with her from there. You see, it’s all about what she’ll feel for you from there onwards.
Now that we have those two important things, out of the way, what to wear?? And then, what to say?
Before your date, go home and take a bath. No, not a gypsy bath…take a proper prime time sensational and nerve refreshing bath. Use a body spray if you have to. Products by “axe” and “park avenue” are great for a nice good scent. Now, if you do use a spray, don’t rub a cologne on top of it. That’s overdoing it.
Why? Because women have a finer sense of smell than men have. For you, it doesn’t matter. But she’ll start gasping for breath. Don’t let that happen. Ideally, what you want on the other hand is to let her sniff you a bit and dig deeper for the manly fragrance that made her go – “Hey, I like it…what was that again??” – in her head. let her just catch a whiff of it, if she gets close. And make sure, you have your act together and that you feel good at the same time. Great fragrance with useless inner dialogue in your head is no good. Go on. Amp up that inner energy.
CLOTHING – Anything that doesn’t make you look like a dweeb or overtly out of the crowd is good. yeah, peacocking is great to intrigue other but NOT to attract. look like a gentleman who knows what decent clothing is. No need for expensive fabrics or broad mach 5 jackets.
Just your classic wear with a twist of color choices that say “this is me”. Just make sure your belt and socks are the same color and your shoes are well cleaned and shine their worth. Women do interpret a lot about you by looking at your shoes. Take care you clean your eyes well, as well as your glasses if you wear a pair. Gel those hair, but use it to style them only if needed. Don’t start spiking the hell out of your head. you’re a man, not a porcupine.
CONVERSATION -
Remember, a date, whether your first, second on nth, is a date, NOT AN INTERVIEW.
So stop bothering about asking too many questions and let her open up at will. Also, don’t bother too much about her asking you questions. Give light and honest answers with a gentle smile lighting up your face (not a clown smile). You do not have to recite your life story there. Also, the reason why I tell you to go to fun places is that well, first off they’re obviously fun and drive up your adrenaline and second, your environment gives you stuff to talk about on autopilot. You can talk about anything at all she wants or you like (as long as it’s not about your or her ex ).
Talk about the ice-cream, the kids around, the things that you people are passionate about, the dreams and ambitions you have in life – anything at all. Remember to talk honestly. just don’t be too “blah” about what comes outta your mouth.
Lastly, you could take care of first date conversation easily by chatting up some people on your way there. Yeah, do some cold approaches. talk to strangers. Get your interaction meter climbing up. That way, you’ll already be in conversation mode when you get there to meet her and things flow naturally without your having to worry about them!
Hope you enjoyed our First Date Tips for Men. Also read about How to Flirt like a pro…here.
